Why would abuse victims keep silent?


Over the years, we have heard a great deal about child abuse and eventually elderly abuse, which is a good thing. Many people have had the need for help and resources for most likely thousands of years, before anyone really started talking about these types of abusive situations, since many people will naturally hide the fact of abuse.

Why Would Abuse Victims Keep Silent?

People who have been on the harmful and hurting end of abuse are scared. They are scared that it will happen again. In some cases, they may even be afraid for their life or the life of another. The abuser, who has already manhandled and abused them, threatens some abuse victims, regardless of their gender or age.

Abuse victims may be embarrassed, because there are so few others who finally take as much abuse as they can stand and then stand up after too much abuse to sound the warning or blow the whistle on the person or persons who are the abusers.

Each situation is different and things can often become very complicated for the victim of abuse. Victims experience pain, suffering, mental anguish, emotional upset, nervousness, fear and a host of other negative influences after being abused, especially by someone that they love.

Remember, love is supposed to be a many splendid thing. Love is not supposed to be frightening and physically painful. Many people who suffer from abuse are terribly confused about the way they feel about their abuser. They often tippy-toe around the person who abuses them hoping that nothing they do will trigger another abusive episode in their life.

What is Abuse?

According to the dictionary, abuse is to mistreat a person or an animal in a cruel manner, whether that is physical abuse, psychological abuse or sexual abuse, especially on a regular basis or habitually. Therefore, Animal Abuse is abusing animals, Child Abuse is that of abusing a child or children, Elderly Abuse is abusing senior citizens and naturally, Parent Abuse is that of abusing a parent, regardless of the gender.

Parent Abuse Does Happen

Parent abuse happens just like all the other types of abuse happen, whether we want to know it, recognize it or acknowledge it. Parent abuse happens in the lives of many people, regardless of where they live or who they are. Abuse does not only happen in areas of poverty or to the uneducated. You should consider yourself and your home very lucky to never, suffer from any type of abuse.

What Should You Do if You are Suffering from Parent Abuse?

If you are being abused by your children, you need help and you need help desperately. It may not sound like the life you dreamed of having with loving children in a safe home. If you are being abused by your child, now is the time to talk with someone, someone who can be of assistance. If you say nothing, you stand a chance of the table being turned on you if instead your child goes to screeching, “My Parent is Abusing Me.” Moreover, do not think that that seemingly mild mannered child would not do something like that to you after they have already beaten you up.

Do Not Hit or Return the Abusive Manners

If your child or children are abusing you, do not hit! Do not return any of the abusive manners they are giving to you, back to them. Sure, you might feel the need to tear up a tail when they need it, but if you are dealing with an abusive child that has no respect for itself or you; you are only running full steam ahead into a big brick wall that may see you behind bars. Remember, while you are being abused, keep your hands, feet and head to your self, retaliation does you no good and only complicates the matter. If you are hitting or abusing your child in return, eventually you will only make things worse for yourself.

Call the Authorities

It may be embarrassing, it may hurt your inner self to consider turning a child, regardless of his or her age into the authorities; however, it is necessary to make the official reports concerning the matter. Too many times, parents hesitate when at any other time they would have the law onto anyone else who was abusing them or their children. Although, it is embarrassing and hurts it is something that needs to be done.

When you are abused, as soon as possible you need to contact the police or the sheriff’s office to let them know what is going on. Even if they do not come to the house, they have your information recorded in their logbook. That information in their logbooks can work for you as some sort of evidence that you have been experiencing abuse.

The Abusive Child Claiming the Parent is Abusive

This can seem to a child an easy out, especially if there are others who are siding with the child or even encouraging the child in the abuse. Unbelievably there are people regardless of their age that will do this, even if they know you are not an abusive type of person. It does happen. The child may think that if they can have you arrested and taken to jail, their problems of not wanting to follow rules is finished.

It is much easier for a child to claim you are an abusive parent if you try to protect yourself by hitting them back when they hit you. Do not fall into this trap. Short of being killed by a child, you should try to get away from them, in another room and then call the authorities.

It may hurt and it may make you mad, but you may fair better by just taking the beating and when it is over then calling the law rather than trying to control your child by force. It is always better if it is you who makes the first call to report the abuse, rather than putting it off and hoping for the best, and then finding after you have been abused again, your child has reported you as an abusive parent.

If this happens, simply tell the law the truth, the whole truth and then work with them and any helpful resources your community may have for abused parents. Nevertheless, you need to know that there is not as much awareness of this matter as there are for child abuse or elderly abuse. Resources are lacking, but in some areas, you may find that you do have a support system already in place. Take advantage of your local resources.

sourced ~ Type A Parent.com — Sara Valor



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